What can you do with a drink, TikTok and 10 minutes?
It is safe to say that a 22-year-old can do a hell of a lot in 10 minutes.
For NSW Blues halfback, he could run at least 3km, lift weights hundreds of times or orchestrate a gut-wrenching win over Queensland in Origin (I'm from Queensland, back off).
But what Nathan Cleary did for 10 minutes, with three women, on a Saturday night during mandatory isolation is still unknown.
Did they play Uno? Did they speak about the bizarre scenario of being a professional athlete and being coached by your dad? Did they talk about the fact Cleary has his own hashtag on Tik Tok which encompasses young girls FROTHING over him? Did they listen to Carole Basin (Free Joe Exotic) by Dubskie five times?
According to Cleary's account, the girls drank while they waited for their Uber. It seems like a good time to point out that the longest I have waited for an Uber during social distancing regulations (for work or essential trips out of the home) is about four minutes.
Since then, The Daily Telegraph has revealed the women were necking cruisers and filming dances with Cleary. So I put this to the test to see if it could happen in 10 minutes.
Judging from his interactions with the media, Cleary has always come across as polite and well mannered. This may have been his downfall on Saturday night that resulted in him being fined at least $4,000.
He could have taken a leaf out of the book of the other men built like brick s***houses who stand outside our pubs and clubs and regularly use the phrase, "you've had too much mate" before letting the girls in.
He didn't and now it's midday on Tuesday and I'm drinking a cruiser, learning dances.
The halfback was pictured on the couch while the woman drank. By our estimates it takes about eight minutes to knock back a pineapple cruiser (although I've seen people smash them in about seven seconds doing that weird spinney thing before chugging it - honestly it's astounding). About four minutes in, the sugar high from the alcopop really hits you.
So, from my research, the group's 10 minutes was almost up from politely sipping the drink that contains "Food Acids 330,331", without even making the dancing video.
Cleary is not new to TikTok. He's posted three separate videos and shown that he knows how to cut a rug. Perhaps he didn't need to learn the dances he performed in. At this stage we don't know.
For me - a 26-year-old man with no rhythm and back pain - it took about five minutes each to learn the featured dances with the help of YouTube tutorials.
Despite these detractors, I do love a boogie after six beers and I earned a B+ in year 10 PE for my jive performance, so I'm not a total mug.
Putting these times together it seems unlikely that all of this could have happened in 10 minutes but Cleary is a faster man than me (I'd say in most senses).
From start to finish I can assume the girls would have been at his home for at least 15 minutes. Time is Tiking for one NRL's brightest stars to come forward and tell the truth.
Originally published as What can you do with a drink, TikTok and 10 minutes?