Hark, glad tidings of great Joyce: OPINION

13th February 2018 11:25 AM
Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce with MP Kevin Hogan at a press conference on proposed changs to Oakes Oval in Lismore.  Photo Marc Stapelberg / The Northern Star Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce with MP Kevin Hogan at a press conference on proposed changs to Oakes Oval in Lismore. Photo Marc Stapelberg / The Northern Star Marc Stapelberg

HOLD on tight Byronbros and Byronistas even though more than 200 hundred of you fronted up to voice your objections to the Gold Coast-arisation of West Byron at the weekend we must turn our eyes outward toward the wider world.

Sure there's some big issues currently at play: the two Koreas marched together at the Winter Olympics, Elon Musk launched a heavy lift rocket into orbit the likes we have never seen, we once again made a complete dog's breakfast of Closing the Gap on Aboriginal disadvantage and Donald Trump's hair was revealed to be even more structurally complex than we imagined.

All big heavy stuff, but we owe it to our selves to focus on the one most pressing issue threatening our nation right here and right now.

This week's big issue is Ocupational Health and Safety around the office.

Work place accidents can happen anywhere, to anyone and last year one of the pillars of our nations government, indeed one of our national co-parents Barnaby Joyce fell victim to one of the most bizarre and unexpected workplace accidents.

Apparently he was so busy rushing hither and yon around the corridors of power in parliament (that we paid for), in and out of (taxpayer funded) commonwealth cars and rushing across tarmacs to catch business class flights (paid for by ratepayers in his electorate) to save us all from the moral catastrophe of marriage equality by spending 120 million of our dollars that he tripped on an improperly secured extension cord and landed smack bang on top of his media adviser.

The collision was so violent all their clothing must have fallen off and the media advisor is expecting a child in April.

Its surprising pregnancy isn't an immaculate conception given Barnaby's professed religiosity and impeccable conservative credentials.

Since then a feral pack of filthy minded journalists have written a string of scurrilous articles wondering out loud whether Barnaby is fit for office, and agonising over whether it's OK wonder about it.