HYPER-vigilance is my catchcry this week.
It's all about keeping tabs on those who threaten our very way of life and alerting readers to the tectonic shifts in our community's spiritual and financial life.
Firstly, as a member of the Australian media, it once again falls to me to warn the broader population about a hitherto unseen danger lurking in plain sight.
That's a contradiction in terms I know, but this is just how deep the threat runs.
There is a group of people within our society intent on perpetrating an unrelenting war of reasonableness.
They are undermining the very fabric of our hard-won social Darwinism by working for nothing more than a fanatical need to help people.
That shadowy organisation is known as the NSW Country Women's Association and they are staging their annual conference on the Central Coast next week and seem set to stir up a whole bunch of radical notions.
To quote from their incendiary press release: "Since 1922 the CWA has been working to improve the living conditions and welfare of women and families”.
Items up for discussion include gambling and online gambling, marriage equality, women's health, foreign land ownership, rural/regional access to blood donations and coal seam gas.
That's right, the CWA is about to let the dangerous notion of marriage equality off the leash, so stand by for a violent riot of polite listening followed by a bloodbath of consensus-building.
This will be a pointless debate because it was proved conclusively this week that the best way to debate marriage equality was by pushing good Christian baked goods into the face of one of Australia's most successful and respected CEOs.
When that happened a grateful nation slapped its forehead in realisation and cried: "Of course gay people can't marry because... lemon meringue pie”.
It was suddenly so clear. But there was a bracing whiff of paternalistic reassurance emanating from this week's budget with the news that SCOMO and MATCO will be drug-testing the drug-dependent.
It's about time we clawed back the vast sums these wretches plunder from government coffers as they live the high life sitting on an upturned milk crate in a burnt-out building looking for a vein that hasn't collapsed so they can shoot up a luxurious mix of bikie brand ICE and heroin.
Sinking them deeper into poverty will do them and their children and Australia the world of good.
This is welcome news for our highly philanthropic corporate sector, which is being forced to make do with a paltry $50 billion tax break over the next 10 years.
Luckily the government didn't go ahead with its proposal to test corporate tax dodgers for traces of cocaine and Grange. That's the wrong kind of clawback, apparently.