FLOOD MONEY: This scheme is beyond shovel ready, it's bucket, hose and diesel fired V12 powered pump ready.
FLOOD MONEY: This scheme is beyond shovel ready, it's bucket, hose and diesel fired V12 powered pump ready. Courtesy Graeme Fletcher

EDITORIAL: Prepare for the flood of floods

AS YOU know, here at the BSN we pride our selves on our world's best practice when it comes to operating in the grey area between financial planning and gaol time.

Our GoT type witches and warlocks of wealth creation have come up with a new financial product we believe Byron Shire ratepayers can dive right into.

This scheme is beyond shovel ready, it's bucket, hose and diesel fired V12 powered pump ready.

We will be harvesting the excess flood water that falls, like a gift from the heavens, into all our municipal pools and selling it back to the Australian people for about... ooh... I don't know... pick a number and double it.

Is it wrong and morally repugnant? Almost certainly. More importantly, is it legal? Well, maybe.

But it will cost a Royal Commission and a fortune in legal fees to find out for sure, if at all.

The hardest part of this scheme is setting up the opaque corporate structure required to make sure profits stay offshore, in a real and very legally binding sense, but still somehow comfortably tucked in our back pockets.

So fellow ratepayers, get on your burner phone to the good people at "No Questions Asked Are Us Incorporated”, possibly located somewhere in the Cayman Islands and get your alibis and taxation structures water tight ready for the flood of flood money.

I know there will be qualms. There will always be qualms when it comes to selling big chunks of infrastructure or natural resources back to the Australian people who kind of already owned them in the first place.

But those qualms will evaporate, like the flood water that may or may not exist depending on where we stand climate catastrophe- wise, when those life giving directors fees trickle down discreetly into our family trusts.

Isn't it funny that a word like trust would crop up in a theoretical discussion about natural resources, the environment and financial governance in the context of a federal election.

But to plagiarise the immortal words of Tina Turner: "What's trust got to do, got to with it it.

"What's trust but a sweet old fashioned notion?”