ANTI-CLIMACTIC: Its almost like there is something not quite right with the weather.
ANTI-CLIMACTIC: Its almost like there is something not quite right with the weather. Christian Morrow

Boom in rooftop nuclear predicted

ONE day in the last week of July, it may have been a Tuesday, around ten billion tons of melt water poured off Greenland and into the ocean in a day.

Just last week NSW declared its earliest fire bans on record with the RFS saying that if we don't get spring rains we would be entering un-chartered waters composed mostly of faecal matter without an appropriate propulsion system

Its almost like there is something not quite right about our weather patterns.

Luckily we have a plan.

Federal Minister in charge of never, ever saying the words climate change, Angus Taylor, is pushing for an enquiry into bringing back nuclear power.

Minister Taylor has concluded there is no safe, viable, plentiful source of energy available that is not dig-able out of the ground and own-able by the same people who own everything already and do so much to make our democracy run smoothly. So nuclear it is.

Besides nuclear power generation has come so far in terms of miniaturisation and safety since we solved all the problems at Chernobyl and Fukushima.

So Australia will be pushing on to develop rooftop nuclear for every quiet Australian household. Talk radio and television reckon-ologists confirm this will make it rain and bring down the cost of electricity.

The second part of making it rain will involve space exploration and concomitantly making sure space is safe for interplanetary mining operations.

To this end Scomo has cleared his diary to prepare full time for his upcoming state dinner with Donald Trump.

This is pre-supposing our Prime Minister can make it safely from the airport to the drive-thru McDonalds closest to the White House without dying in an act of not so random gun violence.

While the PM and the President are waiting in the armour plated presidential limousine to proceed to the second window SCOMO will be presented with his very own personalised Space Force Onesie with his name embroidered on the pocket.

In a moving ceremony involving cheese burgers Mr Trump will then thank President Moisten from Austria for coming and drop him back at the airport.